Krista joins us for a special Thanksgiving post that serves
as a wonderful reminder of what the holiday season is all
When you are a little girl, there are few men you look up
There are few men that steal your heart.
One of those men was my grandpa. He was the man who would hug
me, kiss me on the cheek with a his face full of
whiskers and always left scent of Top tobacco. He would
give the best hugs and every time we parted he would say, "Love you
Growing up we lived in the same house my mom lived in when
she was a child. My grandpa built that home. I remember falling
down the same stairs my mom and aunts did when they were children.
As I grew up, I started to drive and received my first car. I loved
passing him as we would drive by each other on our way to and from
town. He lived next door in a home he built for my grandma. He
would be in old beat up Ford Fiesta with the seat leaned back (it
was broken). He was too cheap to fix it our by a different
rig. When I went through a divorce, leaving me a single mom,
he pulled me aside to tell me that no matter what happened he was
there for me. He wouldn't let anything happen to me. After I got a
part-time job at the local feed store to try to make ends meet, he
would come in and every time he left he would tell me he loved me.
Back rubs, you just will never find another living soul that could
give a back rub like he did.
You know, when someone you love as much as I loved him gets
sick, you worry. My biggest regret is thinking that he would just
pull through, that maybe he was just working too much and not
taking care of himself. But you can't take things like that for
granted. You never know when someone is going to be called
The night my grandpa left us, I was so angry with myself. So
angry that I didn't head to the hospital sooner, angry that I
didn't spend more time with him and I was angry that he was gone. I
was almost half way to the hospital when I got the call. Half way.
I should have been there but I wasn't.
That week the Cordial Cherry display was set out. We spent our
first ever Thanksgiving without him. Our entire family completely
heart-broken. The week after the funeral service, I took a box of
Cordial Cherries to lay on his grave. I made sure to eat one like I
always did. I haven't been back to that place since, he is not
there anyway. He is in heaven and one day we will meet again. Until
that day, I will buy those cordial cherries, eat one and leave the
rest to my family.
In the meantime, I will try to love Thanksgiving again. I will
try to remember why I looked forward to it every year. I will try
to stop avoiding family as they make the plans. I will try to move
forward because my kids deserve to have happy memories with their
grandpa just the way I did with mine.
So today, today I am letting go of the anger I have had of
losing my grandpa. I will wipe away my tears when the first Cordial
Cherry display comes out, I will smile when I drive up and down the
mountain where we used to pass by each other and when I smell a
hint of Top tobacco at the local feed store, I will try not to look
around for him. He is not there. He is not here anymore.
I will remember the good times. I will remember that the
last time I saw my grandpa, he gave me a hug, a whisker kiss on the
cheek and he said. "I love you, Krista Rae."
The Farmer's Wifee
Krista, aka the Farmer's Wifee, is a small town girl that grew
up in a logging community in Eastern Washington and married a first
generation dairy farmer. Together, she and her farmer have three
amazing children that they raise on their dairy farm of 150
jerseys, Holsteins and crosses. If you want to learn more
about Krista, check out her blog or find
her on Facebook!