Are you dating a farmer/rancher? Are you considering marrying a
farmer/rancher? Did you just marry a farmer/rancher? If so, this
post is for you. You, my dear, are in a relationship with
Here are the top 5 things I have learned about being in a
relationship with a farmer/rancher:
Date Night: Chances are you will want to go on
frequent date nights. Chances are you will get plenty of date
nights. These date nights just might not be a nice restaurant,
movie theater or long walks on the beach (unless you farm on the
beach). In order to take full advantage of your dates, you must
change your idea of what qualifies as a date. For example: if you
get any alone time in the vehicle and it includes a drive-thru
meal or carry out pizza...Take it! That is a date! If you love to
watch movies and you get some alone time on the couch after
chores, take it! That is a date! If you even make it once to the
beach, take it! That is more than a date that is a miracle! If you
get all gussied up and the tractor breaks down or the cows get
out. But on your big girl panties, your boots and go out there
& and help. Take a picture while you are at it. Just be
thankful for time with the one you love.
Alone Time: There are so many different factors
that could take away from alone time with your farmer. He could be
on the tractor and you could be in the truck. He could be
milking and you could be feeding calves. There are so many
tasks to be done on the farm that it tends to pull you in different
directions working toward the same goal. Cherish the time together
on the tractor, milking parlor, in the grain truck, feeding calves,
chasing those naughty cows that got out, etc. Cherish ANY and ALL
time you get to spend with that person. It doesn't have to be in
"special" place to qualify as quality alone time, it is time spent
together and take full advantage of it.
Attending Special Occasions: We have three
kids. We get invited to play days, birthday parties, weddings,
graduations, church events, etc. This could also apply to those
that do not have kids when it comes to weddings, graduations,
church, etc. Chances are if you are able to attend, you will be
attending events without your farmer. Of course, I would not expect
my farmer to show up at play days but some events I do. If he is
unable to attend a wedding or graduation. I most likely will not
attend either. It honestly seems like all these events land on the
same days and during silage season (or harvest season). It is
near impossible for farmers to leave the farm during those times.
To be honest, I am just happy for the times he can make it and
that he makes church a priority on (most) Sundays.
Family Meal Time: We have tried pretty
much every schedule to make sure we can have dinner as a family.
Our best luck is at like 3 pm before milking and evening
chores. You will need to play around with times in order to figure
out what works best for your family. BUT when it doesn't work
out and you are having dinner with the kids by yourself, don't
get angry. Make sure to take a meal to him! Take the kids too.
There are plenty of times where he cannot quite make it to the
house but he can stop for a few minutes and eat on the
tractor. Improvise, it is your best bet for ANYTHING and
Being On Time: Well this was a tough one. I
have always been the one that is at least five minutes early. Not
anymore! Something will break down, you will have to add an extra
stop to your errands, the cows will get out before church, the
power will go out right before milking, there is always a tractor
or truck tire that could go flat, the grain truck could block your
driveway, etc. There are honestly a million different factors that
could affect you making it ANYWHERE on time. Drive slowly, take a
deep breath and realize it will be like this for the rest of
your life!!! Plus, soon everyone will expect you to walk in 15
minutes late to church!
Special Note For Dairy:
If you are going to town and you are ready to go. If you do
not want to bless the city folks with your sweet farm aroma, do not
stop at the barn. That is why they invented text messaging. If
farmer needs something, make him text
If he asks you to come help him for a minute, always wear your
barn clothes and boots. You wear anything nice and it
will get manure on it. Manure stains, just an FYI.
If the cows are out, wear your running shoes.
Seal off your home and vehicles when they are pumping the
manure lagoon. I swear that smell clings to everything.
When the milker doesn't show up or calls in sick, put a smile on
your face and help him milk.
Just remember, it is a date! Us girls like dates!
Cattle sales and farm auctions qualify as SPECIAL dates.
You are only asked along if they really like you! Ok, not sure if
that is true but it sounded good!
Just know that as you enter the world of agriculture, the idea
of love and romance that Hollywood painted for you is not
real. It is not real even if you were not dating or marrying
agriculture. Take advantage of the small things and make them
the big things. Be thankful for every little minute that you get
with the person you love. Be thankful that they are sharing their
life with you.
The Farmer's Wifee
Krista, aka the Farmer's Wifee, is a small town girl that grew
up in a logging community in Eastern Washington and married a first
generation dairy farmer. Together, she and her farmer have three
amazing children that they raise on their dairy farm of 150
jerseys, Holsteins and crosses. If you want to learn more
about Krista, check out her blog or find
her on Facebook!