In a Relationship With Ag

Are you dating a farmer/rancher? Are you considering marrying a farmer/rancher? Did you just marry a farmer/rancher? If so, this post is for you. You, my dear, are in a relationship with agriculture.

Here are the top 5 things I have learned about being in a relationship with a farmer/rancher:

Date Night: Chances are you will want to go on frequent date nights. Chances are you will get plenty of date nights. These date nights just might not be a nice restaurant, movie theater or long walks on the beach (unless you farm on the beach). In order to take full advantage of your dates, you must change your idea of what qualifies as a date. For example: if you get any alone time in the vehicle and it includes a drive-thru meal or carry out pizza...Take it! That is a date! If you love to watch movies and you get some alone time on the couch after chores, take it! That is a date! If you even make it once to the beach, take it! That is more than a date that is a miracle! If you get all gussied up and the tractor breaks down or the cows get out. But on your big girl panties, your boots and go out there & and help. Take a picture while you are at it. Just be thankful for time with the one you love.

Alone Time: There are so many different factors that could take away from alone time with your farmer. He could be on the tractor and you could be in the truck. He could be milking and you could be feeding calves. There are so many tasks to be done on the farm that it tends to pull you in different directions working toward the same goal. Cherish the time together on the tractor, milking parlor, in the grain truck, feeding calves, chasing those naughty cows that got out, etc. Cherish ANY and ALL time you get to spend with that person. It doesn't have to be in "special" place to qualify as quality alone time, it is time spent together and take full advantage of it.

Attending Special Occasions: We have three kids. We get invited to play days, birthday parties, weddings, graduations, church events, etc. This could also apply to those that do not have kids when it comes to weddings, graduations, church, etc. Chances are if you are able to attend, you will be attending events without your farmer. Of course, I would not expect my farmer to show up at play days but some events I do. If he is unable to attend a wedding or graduation. I most likely will not attend either. It honestly seems like all these events land on the same days and during silage season (or harvest season). It is near impossible for farmers to leave the farm during those times. To be honest, I am just happy for the times he can make it and that he makes church a priority on (most) Sundays.

Family Meal Time:  We have tried pretty much every schedule to make sure we can have dinner as a family. Our best luck is at like 3 pm before milking and evening chores. You will need to play around with times in order to figure out what works best for your family. BUT when it doesn't work out and you are having dinner with the kids by yourself, don't get angry. Make sure to take a meal to him! Take the kids too. There are plenty of times where he cannot quite make it to the house but he can stop for a few minutes and eat on the tractor. Improvise, it is your best bet for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Being On Time: Well this was a tough one. I have always been the one that is at least five minutes early. Not anymore! Something will break down, you will have to add an extra stop to your errands, the cows will get out before church, the power will go out right before milking, there is always a tractor or truck tire that could go flat, the grain truck could block your driveway, etc. There are honestly a million different factors that could affect you making it ANYWHERE on time. Drive slowly, take a deep breath and realize it will be like this for the rest of your life!!! Plus, soon everyone will expect you to walk in 15 minutes late to church!

Special Note For Dairy:

If you are going to town and you are ready to go. If you do not want to bless the city folks with your sweet farm aroma, do not stop at the barn. That is why they invented text messaging. If farmer needs something, make him text you!        

If he asks you to come help him for a minute, always wear your barn clothes and boots. You wear anything nice and it will get manure on it. Manure stains, just an FYI.

If the cows are out, wear your running shoes.

Seal off your home and vehicles when they are pumping the manure lagoon. I swear that smell clings to everything.

When the milker doesn't show up or calls in sick, put a smile on your face and help him milk.

Just remember, it is a date! Us girls like dates!

Cattle sales and farm auctions qualify as SPECIAL dates. You are only asked along if they really like you! Ok, not sure if that is true but it sounded good!

Just know that as you enter the world of agriculture, the idea of love and romance that Hollywood painted for you is not real. It is not real even if you were not dating or marrying agriculture. Take advantage of the small things and make them the big things. Be thankful for every little minute that you get with the person you love. Be thankful that they are sharing their life with you.

The Farmer's Wifee

Krista, aka the Farmer's Wifee, is a small town girl that grew up in a logging community in Eastern Washington and married a first generation dairy farmer. Together, she and her farmer have three amazing children that they raise on their dairy farm of 150 jerseys, Holsteins and crosses. If you want to learn more about Krista, check out her blog or find her on Facebook!

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Kate - Wednesday, December 17, 2014 at 5:42:18 PM
How spot on is all that. My husband and I have a three hundred cow Fresian herd in Victoria Australia. We are late for everything, and miss many events due to unforeseen dairy circumstances as you discribed. We are happy though making a prosperous living ( most years) and creating a sustainable future for our family and our son is growing up with an appreciation for hard work and value. Great post ;)
Christine Atkin - Sunday, January 4, 2015 at 12:55:00 PM
Loved this article! Will look for more!
Kay - Friday, January 30, 2015 at 2:27:19 AM
My husband and I grew up on neighboring family farms. We started dating when I turned 16 and we have been married almost 28 years. It is true with any successful relationship that you make the most of the time you can have together. I remember one night after Tony had been working all day we ate supper with my family and he was so bummed over the drought and the crops really needed a rain - anyway we had gone down to one of the fields and were looking at the crops and he had leaned over and started kissing me when on the radio the announcer said "100% chance of rain" and he pulled away from me and said "Did you hear that?! They said 100% chance of rain!!" A few seconds later the song started playing and it was "100% Chance of Rain"....we still laugh about it! You take the good and the bad and you deal with it. We have 3 wonderful children, two children-in-laws, and 3 wonderful grandchildren. When the kids were small if we weren't in the field with their Daddy we would take a picnic and eat lunch with him on a tailgate. We still do that often even though they are grown and the grandkids enjoy it too. Life is too short so make memories and share your love and support for each other. Farming is a team effort!
Sarah - Sunday, February 8, 2015 at 10:12:56 PM
So true! I have been dating a hog farmer for a year and a half now. We had a date one night eating frozen pizza in the barn while a sow farrowed! We even spent New Year's Eve in the barn while a gilt farrowed. I wouldn't trade him or the farm life for anything! "I've found the one whom my soul loves!"
Shannon - Saturday, September 5, 2015 at 10:18:59 AM
Nice article. Sometimes you have to take a step back and remind yourself of the commitment and why you chose that way of life. I have noticed a lot of posts are geared towards women who are in a relationship with a farmer. I have it the complete opposite being a single woman farmer and attempting to date. Not all men are quite prepared to date a farmer...just had to throw that out there. Thanks for the posts!!
Hayley - Thursday, April 28, 2016 at 5:56:38 PM
Wow how true does this ring! Taking food to my man has to be a date because at harvest time if it wasn't there wouldn't be a date! The kids have to come too. We are lucky to have the life style that we do! There is so much time to be together. We are so blessed that we live close enough to a town and get the movies and the odd dinner date out as well. Also I can work off farm for a few days a week. Essentially though the farm has priority.

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