Being a farmer is a difficult job. We know it's rewarding, but
if we are being honest, it's hard. And sometimes it's really hard.
When you live a life where your livelihood depends on your care and
your time, it means the days don't start at 8 and they certainly
don't end at 5. But that is the reality of being a farmer and it
can be lonely. It's never easy to be a farmer, but being married to
a farmer or being two farmers who are married to one another can be
a challenge, to say the least. But you aren't alone. When you marry
a farmer, your expectations have to be realistic about what life is
like on the farm. Some farm girls gave great advice on what it's
like and how to handle it!
You learn to adapt. Yes, you may be attending events just you
and the kids, there will be late nights, early mornings, meals
delivered to the field, etc. You wish your husband had a
nine-to-five job, but then you remember the perks husband has that
they don't, so you realize you're pretty lucky. Your kids grow up
in the country, what can be better!!
When I miss my husband, I go out and farm with him. It isn't
romantic, but you can make it a family thing. Just spending time
together can make a big difference. It also helps as your kids get
older, if you have them, because they can help out, too!
Yes it can be tough, but just remember it's not just farmers who
work long hours. Plenty of husbands and dads work all week with
long hours! We are lucky we can work at home!
Being married to a farmer never gets easier. But it does help
you to increase your patience and makes you appreciate hard
Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Know that he
wants to be spending time with you as much as you want to be
spending time with him, but sometimes it's not possible. The work
you both do takes care of your family.
Being a farmer married to a farmer is all about perspective. You
have to accept your reality and make the most of it. Date nights
might be in a tractor or on only a rainy day, but you take it.
Because this is the life you love.
We made it a point to take Sundays off no matter what needed to
be done on the farm. Sometimes that means a long night another
time, but it keeps us sane.
Each day comes with positives and negatives. Try and support
your husband and keep communicating. Sometimes all you need to do
is share your feelings and LISTEN!!
Sometimes it sucks and sometimes you just have to look forward
to winter. Take a minute when you can to reconnect - take a ride
together or have a quick lunch. Showing you care can go a long
Get thick skin. Being a farmer can be tough on your feelings
when the days are long and you don't have much sleep and you aren't
feeling loved. But this too shall pass. It's worth it to be a part
of this life. Remember that good times on the farm outweigh the
Have a support system. If you have family, friends, church or a
community around you that you can lean on, it will make all the
difference in the world.
Enjoy the rain and the winter while you can. Bad weather is not
fun, but it usually means a bit of a break.
You have to learn to appreciate the small moments together!
It does get easier. You get used to scheduling around farming.
And farming always comes first. Once you embrace that, your
expectations will be more realistic. Learn to not get disappointed
when plans change and go with the flow.
It takes a strong-willed person that farms and ranches. It
doesn't matter if you are young and starting or older and
You adapt! This time of year the days are long, and the tempers
short. Thing is, of course plans come second to the farm,
four-legged babies have to be fed, cows have to be milked, crops
have to be planted, etc. The farm is your livelihood. I wouldn't
trade my farmer or my farm life for anything!
It's definitely hard. My husband and I are going on 13 years
now, and I still have what I've heard referred to as "farmer's wife
transition" every year. Embrace the farm life; allow your husband
the time and freedom to do what HAS to be done. Nobody has an easy
life, but the benefits are worth it.
Count each blessing, instead of focusing on the negative, start
each day with a recount of all the moments that you saw your
children smile! Take lots of pictures so your husband can catch up!
We have five children, and we are looking forward to the day when
they can really help out! Lastly, take time to pray!
Find the things to fill the gaps when he is busy - whether that
is kids, gardening, helping him out, catching up on laundry, your
other family, reading, knitting, etc. And, savor the time you spend
I had to learn that getting upset only hurts me and our family.
I learned that communication is the key! It is okay to be annoyed
or upset, but don't hang onto it. Admit it, move on.
Work together!!!! It gets him home quicker.
The frustration and loneliness can get a little overwhelming.
Just remember, it's just as hard for him to be away from you,
I find that making my place in his work is so helpful. Don't
look at it as me vs. farming, but us as a team. Also during
planting and harvest I've learned to utilize that time with
me-time, girlfriends I need to make time for, and family I don't
Know that your spouse is never choosing the farm over you, but
choosing the farm for you and for your family.
It's all about perspective. I always say I'd rather live in his
world then without him in mine!